aaron crews online

Because these areas are so important to us and create so much value in our lives, we feel the need to evangelize and to convince others to align with our way of thinking about the subject and to make the rewarding choices that we've made.

The problem is that these decisions are not made based on direct input from others.  Actually, direct input from others usually has the opposite of its intended effect.  When someone says "my way is right because of X" (with good intentions), the implicit, unintended message is that "your way is wrong because of X."  That causes extremely hurt feelings because of the very nature of these deeply personal issues.  (This is why some people get very offended by the Jehovah's Witnesses, for instance; or why people bomb abortion clinics).

The choices we make in these areas are instead built by a lifetime (however long we've had to this point) of personal experience.  That's what causes these bad reactions when they get these messages. The person feels that they're being told that everything they've lived to this point is wrong.

Because these are based almost solely on personal experience, the only real way to get people to change is through positive life experiences.  That is tough, however, because many times our firmly held beliefs prevent us from trying these experiences in the first place.  

One way around this, though, is to be positive ambassadors (not evangelists) for our ways of thinking.  If people want to follow our example or admire our attributes, they may come around to trying and eventually buying into our way of thought.  The unintended consequences of continued evangelizing on both sides undermines this and, because of that, should not be done.

No one is right or wrong on these issues.  Everyone is right for themselves, based on their experience.  Hopefully through example we can all demonstrate which choices may be most rewarding.  Be cognizant of these unintended consequences when you send those political or religious emails, even though you found value in it, or when you bring up topics like these in conversation.  All the conversation in the world is not going to change someone's life experience.